Thoughts on Motherhood

The past 8.5 months has probably been one of the biggest learning curves of my life (that I can remember, at least). I have learned more about myself, more about other people, more about sacrifice, and more about love than in any other experience. And it's been hard. Like no-idea-until-you-do-it kind of hard. Both nursing school and working full time were so much easier! But it has also been the most rewarding and amazing thing ever.

I don't think much can prepare you for being a mom. Yes there are the sleepless nights, days you can't decide if you want to sit and cry or pull your hair out (or both), but the real thing I don't think you can be prepared for is how much you suddenly love this little person, and that seems to get stronger and stronger as time goes on. It's amazing how the sweet innocence of their smile can completely turn your bad mood around and melt your heart. You can never understand the love of a parent until you are one. I think that is one of the first realizations a lot of people have when they become parents; "wow, this is how my parents feel about me." It truly is an amazing thing.

It is also interesting to become a parent and learn how you deal with things. I think you learn a lot about yourself because it drives you to exhaustion and it tests your patience to the almost breaking point. You learn what you care about and what you worry about. Suddenly, your entire life is on someone else's schedule, and that is something that I am still trying to get used to!


Being a mom has been such a blessing in my life. I am so glad I got to have my first Mother's Day last Sunday to reflect on how much life has changed because of Kate. I would not change it for the world.

Mothers Day 2013

           

           Mothers Day 2013 began, unfortunately, much like any other day, as my wife crawled out of bed at 5:30 AM to get our 8 month old Kate out of bed to feed her. It is 5:30 already! I am supposed to get up in thirty minutes to start studying for my exam tomorrow. Thinking that my wife will just be getting Kate to bed in thirty minutes I decide to change my alarm to a later time, to be nice, secretly just wanting more sleep. Six AM roles around, Kate is still up crying, at this point I begin to feel really bad for my wife but doze back off into a sleep. Six thirty now, how is she still awake!? Oh man, this isn’t how I wanted mother’s day to begin for my wife. I already feel horrible that I have to spend the whole day studying, mentally secluded from my family. I can’t even imagine how exhausted my wife must be, not because she had to get up at 5:30, but because this is what she does every single day, day in and day out. And the amazing thing is is that she is able to do so with very little complaint. In fact, as I roll out of bed and look over at my wife she is happily, although very tiredly, playing with our little Kate. She is such a great mom, and oh man does Kate ever love her momma. You should see her when mom walks into the room, she gets so excited she doesn’t even know what to do. She starts to hyperventilate and flail her little arms and legs around. You may even think that she is having a seizure of some sort. But then she dives her self onto her belly and starts to army crawl as fast as she can towards her momma. It is quite the sight to see! Kate truly does have an amazing mom who loves her with her whole heart.

            I give my wife a kiss and tell her I love her, and apologize for the rough start to mothers day. As I head downstairs to begin studying, my wife shortly follows. With baby in tow she then commences to start making and cooking homemade bread for us for tonight’s dinner. I know I know, mom making dinner on mothers day right? I’m a horrible person, but I tell myself I just have to get through today and pass my test tomorrow and then I can take care of my wife the way she deserves, even if it is just for one day since a new course starts again on Tuesday. As I sit there and watch her, marveling, again, I think to myself I don’t know how she does it. I have been alone with Kate quite a few times and I can’t get anything done, especially not while holding her in one arm. Once she is done cooking, she then goes off to feed Kate, puts her down for a nap, and comes back downstairs to finishing washing all of the dishes, and sweep the floors. Wait I thought moms were supposed to get breaks once their kid goes down for a nap? Not my wife, she has too much to do seeing as she gets very little help around the house since I’m always consumed with school. I try and convince her to go and take a nap, but she talks about having to do the laundry and other house chores that she needs to get done before Kate wakes up again. Which happens these days way too fast. Kate really hasn’t been taking naps very well, if at all, and this has really been exhausting and stressful for my sweet wife. I wish there was something I could do to help, but I hardly ever home due to class and clinicals, and when I do get home at night I have to get all of my homework done which I rarely finish and am still working on up until bed time.  If you can believe it, all of this has happened before 10:30 AM. I have been studying now for several hours and need a change of scenery, so I head upstairs to run a bath and study in there for a while. As I start the bath water and begin looking over my notes while I wait for the bath to fill, I hear Kate, oh no I think to myself, she is already up. I know this means that my wife will now be trying to get ready for church, while also taking care of Kate.

Again, how does she do it? And on mothers day, of all days, I was hoping things would go more smoothly. But I guess that is just the thing. Mothers don’t get days off, even on the Holliday that is especially for them. Being a mom is a 24/7 gig, that usually doesn’t get any easier, but only more difficult as more kids are brought into the mix and the years  of bouncing, soothing, chasing, and playing make believe take their toll on their bodies. Truly, becoming a mother is the biggest sacrifice that I know of. My wife has no time to be selfish; everything she does is for her family. And while mothers day has not served to give my wife any respite, it has served as a strong reminder to me what exactly it means to be a mother and how very grateful I am for my wife. I don’t know of anyone who is more loving, caring, and as strong as she is. She rarely complains about anything. Even while taking care of her baby, supporting and helping me, she still finds the energy to go out and go running while pushing Kate in the stroller. She cooks and cleans every day, she goes grocery shopping, she decorates, she is active in church, she has great friends and family who she keeps in touch with and supports. Often we think of super heroes as people with capes that fly around and fight off the villain, but I am pretty sure the real super heroes are our moms. Because I’m pretty sure they have to have some sort of magical ability to be able to accomplish all that they do in one day. I hope that my wife knows how much I love her, and how lost I would be without her. She is my best friend in the whole world and I love being able to experience every little thing with her by my side. On this, Mothers Day 2013, while I cannot give you the day that I was hoping too, I do hope to give you my thoughts, emotions, and love. You are amazing; please don’t ever be too hard on yourself! Please, look into the mirror and see what I see, because you truly are the most amazing and beautiful woman I know. I love you babe, I love you more than I ever thought possible! Happy Mothers Day! 

Love, Your Husband XoXo

Spring Fun

The last few weeks we have had amazing sunshine basically everyday. It has been refreshing and makes me more and more excited for summer!

Besides Kate and I going on a lot of runs, walks, and just soaking up some much needed vitamin D, the three of us took a little trip out to Lake Ontario and played on the beach. The water was way too ice cold (per Randy, I didn't need to feel it, I will take his word for it) but it was fun to just sit in the sun.

Another day we went over to Highland Park because I kept hearing about the amazing spring blossoms. We walked around the park for a while, which is HUGE and awesome, and then sat under a tree and Kate and I played while Randy studied. Basically we like to take advantage of any daddy time we can get these days!

Everything is Rochester is so green and gorgeous right now! The street that leads to our house is sort of a "hidden pathway" that is lined with forests of trees on both sides. It has been getting prettier by the day. I don't know how I am going to deal with the day when winter comes again because this makes me so happy. Lets just pretend that won't happen, k?

Cinco De Mayo

Our friends Hayley and Christian threw one of their always fabulous parties for Cinco De Mayo. We had adorable decorations and great food including chicken tacos, chips and salsa, salad, and pinata cake. After dinner we had a very intense pinata game with one unfortunate bat to the foot injury (poor Randy), but other than that, it was a great time!

The decorations:

Spencer and Xan:

Christian and Hayley:

Matt and Liz:

Randy and I:

Happy May!

Tray Table Project

We finished a fun project tonight! I went to Goodwill and bought an old wooden TV tray table for 5 bucks, we spray painted it blue, then made a stencil and painted the design on it. A new entry way table for less than 10 dollars including all the supplies. Sweet!

We are really happy with how it turned out and it totally brightens up our hallway/entry.

Had to throw one in of our cute little "helper":

The finished product:

I'm waiting for it to dry so I can put my little decorations on it, but I will post another picture once I do that.

8 Months

Kate is 8 months old as of yesterday! Only 4 months until the big 1 year, whew that is crazy! She is so fun and funny right now and her personality comes through more everyday. And these pictures are getting harder and harder to get because this girl does not sit still. Like ever. Funny little monkey.

At 8 months, Kate:

*Army crawls all over the place and is very dedicated to get to something that she wants. She is learning to move stuff out of the way to get cords or anything else she knows she is not suppose to have...

*Went through a stage for a while where she was shrugging her shoulders all the time. It was super cute. I wish she would bring it back.

*Is so smiley and happy. Loves to wave all the time.

*Said her first word on April 1st. It was "momma-momma." Melts my heart every time.

*She really over exaggerates her mouth when she talks and when she says momma she folds her lips in.

*Gets up on her knees like she is going to actually crawl, but then goes back down to her belly and army crawls away.

*Plays a game where I kiss her chin and she eats my nose then we both laugh. It's fun :).

*Plays in her crib for a long time when she wakes up and unties the ties on her bumpers every single morning (don't worry, they are short and are not a strangulation hazard). It's pretty funny to watch her on the video monitor.

*Plays peek a boo. She likes to play by putting blankets on our heads and pulling them off, but she also buries her head in the bed and peeks out and starts laughing. Ah she is cute.

*She is sitting up 100% on her own now. She needed somewhat supported for a while and I really think she just wasn't interested because she could roll so well, but now she does it all by herself.

*Loves to play with her red ball and chase it around the room. Her other favorite toys are the foam letters she has.

*Loves to be outside doing anything. Going for a run, a walk, sitting on a blanket on the grass, anything. It instantly makes her happy, just like her momma :).

*She loves to watch kids run around. She is amazed by them and get so excited, her arms and legs go crazy.

*You got your first goose egg. That wasn't very fun.

*Still wakes up once a night, usually between 4-5am but goes back to sleep quickly after eating. Naps have been quite difficult lately. She was only taking 20-30 minute naps twice a day for a few weeks and now she totally fights it and is refusing to take any. It's a little rough. Hopefully it's just a phase.

Dear Kate,

We are so in love with your little personality that is coming through. You are so funny but sweet. You love people, you are always happy when lots of people are around. You love to play and you just want to be happy all the time. You really are an easy baby, you don't cry a lot and you are fairly even tempered. You definitely are a little attached to your momma, which I really love. You give the best, most slobbery kisses in the whole world and it is so adorable. We can't help but be happy when you are around. You have been fighting naps really bad the last few weeks and it's a little frustrating for momma, but then you smile at me and start giving me loves and it makes me laugh and helps me to feel better :). We cannot imagine life without you in it. You have brought so much joy to us. We are all learning and growing together and it is the best thing in the world. You have hit a huge growth spurt and you all the sudden look a lot older. It scares me a little because I feel like I forget things too fast and am missing too much, but that is life. You are beautiful, strangers literally stop what they are doing when they see you and make a huge deal about how cute you are, it's actually really funny. Sometimes when we are at dinner we feel like celebrities walking through the restaurant haha. Your mommy and daddy love you so much and that will never, ever change.

We love you baby girl!

Our Happy Place

I don't know what we did before we had this little smile in our life. She makes bad days better in an instant with one little smile, laugh, wave, or game she plays. We are in love.

We are fully enjoying every sunny day we are having. Please, please, please Mr. Sun, don't go away!